Note From The Founder: Does Parenting Get Harder or Easier?

As I sit here with my third cup of lukewarm coffee, I find myself reflecting on the whirlwind of emotions that comes with sending all three of my children to big school for the very first time this year. You’d think I’d have this figured out by now, considering I’ve been practicing on two of them for a few years already. But in this new phase, reality has a way of reminding me just how uncharted these waters can be.

First off, let me introduce you to my trio: Riaan (far right), my 6-year-old with a penchant for inventing things (his latest creation being a paper rope that could send a toothbrush from one flight of stairs to the other - still unsure of the purpose of that one), Raiyana (far left), my five year-old, who will burst into well-rehearsed scenes from Encanto on the regular, and my youngest Reina (middle), who, on her second day of big school, proceeded to tell her teacher she had had enough of the place and was ready to go back to nursery (and yes, she used those exact words, as relayed to me by her teacher). With these three in tow, my mornings often resemble a circus performance. 

Despite the chaos, there is an undeniable joy in watching my little ones step into their new chapters. It’s a bittersweet moment, feeling my babies morph into brave little humans ready to take on the world. When you see your last child, wearing her big girl uniform, there is a surreal moment of 'wow we're here' but also 'how is this happening!' As we navigate this big transition, I can’t help but wonder: Does parenting get easier as children grow older, or does it become more complicated?

When they were tiny, I often thought that as they transitioned from gooey-faced infants to wobbling toddlers, parenting would surely become easier. Sure, those days were fraught with midnight feedings and diaper changes that would sometimes bring me tears, but at least I was in control. I could choose wholesome snacks, enforce nap times, and plan schedules with no pushback. 

Now, my parenting role feels like a high-stakes negotiation. There are emotions involved I never knew existed, like the sheer fury of a five-year-old who insists that “she is the boss of her stomach!” (still grappling with a 'gentle parenting' response to this one). Then there’s the ache of a six-year-old whose worries of his friends remembering him after a long summer bring a lump to my throat. And with the backdrop of this, my three-year old rocks up on her first day with the confidence of Kanye West running for President. Parenting is a trip. 

As I sit in the car post drop-off the questions pile up—Are they ok? Are they eating well? Do they feel safe? Are they being treated kindly?—I start to wonder if that glimmering idea of “getting easier” was just an illusion, much like my pre-parenthood belief that I’d never scream at my kids, or hide in a bathroom for a moment of peace.

In the end, I’m not sure if parenting truly gets easier or harder as children grow. Maybe it’s just different. As children move our of the toddler stage, the physical demands lessen, but the emotional complexities intensify. And with the new parenting challenges comes growth. As my kids evolve, I guess, so do I. And as each year goes on, I'm learning which battles to pick. The days of wrestling my child into their coat in a UK winter, have become meaningful discussions about choices and consequences. I've found that deeper conversations are possible, but also essential, and can be enjoyable - something that the early years rarely demanded.

I'm starting to see my kids now gravitate from the Daniel Tiger content, to more mature animations, which in turn sparks insights and questions you don't anticipate. There's a unique joy in seeing your child develop interests and opinions, and it creates a connection that feels profound. 

So, does this whole parenting gig get easier or harder? My take on this is that it oscillates like a pendulum. The physical demands lessen over time, but the emotional stakes rise steeply. Each stage provides unique challenges and rewards. So far, I've learned that with every phase, there's a new set of lessons to be absorbed. The key, I believe, lies in adaptability. Knowing when to hold on tight and when to let go can ease the pressure.

As I sip on my now ice-cold coffee, I have this profound realisation, that I am growing together with my child. I always thought I was raising them, but in fact, they are raising me too. Parenting is truly a journey, not a destination. 

Good luck to everyone out there navigating all the new challenges that a new nursery or school year brings. We are in this together!